Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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