Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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