He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
