Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I fill condoms, not promises.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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