The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
