the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
