They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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