I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
