i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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