just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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