Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
