i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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