hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
