Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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