Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
