i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
