he thought i was a dude.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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