I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
