I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
