as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
