I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just had sex on a roof
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
