actually, I'm a sock model
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Oh god it's open bar.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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