Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
