Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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