took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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