i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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