Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize