Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
