New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
