her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
