i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
