actually, I'm a sock model
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Welp...herpes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize