It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
