I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
