you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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