:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
