Your face is a jimmy john
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
