Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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