proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize