Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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