He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
