some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize