I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize