Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
