I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
