i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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