Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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