u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
