O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
