There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
