A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
