honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
