meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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