I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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