I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
