And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
