they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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