i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize