I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
