Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize