If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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