I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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