I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
