You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize