don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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