They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
