Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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