were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
