god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
