This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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