Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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