she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
